Upendo Doula in Leiden

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The Birth of Maria Gabriella

In my work I am invited in not only the very intimate spaces, the daunting and fragile too. In not only the happy endings but those that we accept their endings too πŸ’•

The loss of a child is the most daunting any parent will ever have to go through. It is at this moment that support can bring so much comfort. There are many emotions, thoughts, worries and sadness that need tender care and love from the outside eye. A bereavement doula will help you go through the process as a family and plan a befitting ceremony for burial or cremation.

On Monday 4th June 2018, my work took me to Breda to support a lovely family going through bereavement. To witness the birth of their baby girl who was going to be born very early in gestation, a pregnancy that had to end due to fatal diagnosis. A choice no parent ever has to make about their own child and one that is so heavy and heart wrenching

That morning I made my way to them by train. I woke up, sorted my house and family, cooked dinner in my slow cooker , said a little prayer and headed to Breda. It took the whole day but I kept the mama company, leaving her once in a while to gather her own thoughts.

I managed to make another bassinet bigger following a thought I had on how tall she might be. I was right!

The same evening of Monday 4th June at 6:45pm I witnessed the birth of a little cute girl born at 17weeks 6 days just before the 5th month. The size of my hand πŸ˜”. It was an emotional and yet humbling experience to walk that journey with the couple. To see a baby so small, the innocence so beautiful yet sad. Her beauty stunned us all. So so precious, so still

Sitting in the train enroute from a training in Amsterdam the day before her birth, I finished knitting the her baby blanket. I found myself talking to this little child in my heart with every stop telling her the names of the train stops she will not live to know nor see

Baby bassinet waiting ready with the parents birth plan

I still said Happy birthday little Maria Gabriella. I won’t see you grow nor visit you like all my doula babies, but I knew of your existence before I met you as Maria Gabriella. And that touched me. You came to a family I got to know and I will remember you always πŸ’•

Little handmade basket made specially for Maria Gabriella πŸ’•. I now call it the Maria Gabriella bassinet

I believe every β€œbeing” deserves a respectful treatment no matter their size. Making this little basket meant this child’s parents could view and cuddle their baby close enough and in dignity as opposed to Baby being wrapped in tissues or washcloth

In Loving Memory of Maria Gabriella πŸ’›πŸ’•