A Doula for a Doula?

So how does a Doula choose a Doula to Doula her? Haha! You see this is a term I am not a fan of to start with. Being a Doula is a profession

I am a Doula who booked one to support our third birth. As a Doula and a mother who has dealt with so much trauma, losses and tribulations coupled with a variation of births too, experience has taught me a lot and sometimes my wisdom “glares” unconsciously

I won’t lie when I tell you.. the first question I asked Laurina when she came to my house for the intake appointment was “what are YOUR fears or doubts in supporting me?

Laurina and myself after the RTL4 Top Dokters recording

Her response was “that you know too much” 😂. She was honest in her answer because there had to be a direction in the doula-client relationship and I loved that she hit me with this immediately and before we continued even. I was at the point in my life where I need a Doula, It was paramount that I removed my professional hat and become the client.

So what did I do? I took off my Doula hat. Inevitably, I was an expectant mother hiring a Doula 😊

Let me take you back to how I made that decision to hire a Doula to start with. I respect what we do as doulas and really want to blow the horn in the goodness and importance of having one! At our 20 week scan, after all tests were done (and they were numerous till here) we found out our little boy had a heart defect. He was coming but maybe with a lot of issues. Nobody could predict the weight of intensity of it till after the birth

BIG deal because we already have a child living with a disability. So then as a mother, my heart was very conflicted. I was in turmoil and as a couple we couldn’t pin on the reason why that was and why us “again”

In the echo room I asked the echoscopist to tell us the gender of the baby even though we had said our last would be a surprise. She confirmed our error! I was very sure we were having a girl because I could pin on many symptoms I had with our daughter’s pregnancy. Wrong! I guess that’s what they mean when they say “every pregnancy is different and so is the experience”. We were having a little boy!

I couldn’t contain myself, I had a big uncontrollable wail. It hurt deep down. I couldn’t imagine this little boy of ours not coming or not being a part of our lives. I decided there and there he was going to be Danny, after my late brother who passed on June 7th 2018 and my Dad is Danny Senior. This little Boy of ours will not replace my brother, but I wanted to keep his name alive because he left no children too 💫💛

So we were booked for counseling at the hospital, and further tests to all kinds of departments to rule out any further “issues”. We started with genetics because my middle child has a genetic diagnosis. If they could rule little man wouldn’t have any of the issues Alexander has, it would be hopeful! The geneticist Dr we met was very kind. We had a great click with him and he would call out of hours sometimes to keep us posted. In the Netherlands, extensive tests are checked in Maastricht so he had to keep calling to follow up because we were legally tied to IF there was an issue with our baby, we could only do whatever needs doing within x amount of time. And time was moving