Language of Birth

Childbirth

27 May

There is only Vaginal birth and C-section......and BOTH ARE NORMAL.

There is no right or wrong way to birth. There is no unnatural or abnormal way to birth. The language of birth starts with us, mothers. Some of these labels cut deep down for some mothers. BIRTH SHOULD BE INCLUSIVE!! - Doula Naomie

What is unnatural about a c-section? Does it mean the mothers who had their babies via c-section didn’t “birth? What about those who did but have nothing to show for it, because their babies didn’t live? Even a loss-birth is a birth (a term that my bereavement Doula colleague Laurina Cerredo uses)

So when we are blowing our own trumpets and idolizing our own births at how magnificent they were, let us not forget the message we are sending to the mothers who birthed but their experiences were not so magnificent

Because the message we are sending to a mother who did ALL the breathing, humming, dancing and change positions that ended up with a disabled child because the “event” that day took a different turn, is that: she did not do it right, why she’s ended up with her child as they are

Birth is Birth. Birth is an event because an event is never guaranteed. You can only plan for the most part but how it unfolds on the day is not in anyone’s control, not even the medical team - Doula Naomie

To my mind they are vaginal or belly births. Not all babies are born vaginally…

As a c-section mum, when I look at my babies, I beam with the same pride like you who had a “natural birth”. I BIRTHED these little legacies of mine! Those moments when things took a different turn in my birth events, I had no control over them and interventions meant I could beam at them today because an intervention as a c-section saved my children

Recovery after a c-section is hard. Because I had no control over the events that day, I had to learn to carefully function as a mother. I had to learn to measure the weight I could carry for months post-operation. I endured pain that to-date creeps up but I have my babies with me! I had to learn to get off the bed carefully and nurse a wound for months!

I have seen this topic pop up recently in mother groups and it’s not only disheartening but it’s pretty offensive when another mother “gloats” about their “natural birth” when in the same group there are others who also birthed just not vaginally.

What label fits/describes me? What label fits them?

I don’t condone sharing the positivity of birth and the beauty of it, but c-sections can also be empowering and exhilarating. Positive stories encourage others who are doubtful of their own strengths, and birth preparation is paramount and can help you prepare for the decision making and awareness.. but there is no crown and it’s not a competition either how births evolve. Let us learn to be mindful of the words we use around each other

I had a beautiful gentle c-section with my last born for example. Our first sight of each other through the clear curtain was “magnificent “. So if you find yourself heading this way because a medical intervention is needed and you are planning for a c-section, I hope my story give you hope, it can also be a beautiful birth… 👇🏾👇🏾